My Labyrinth `

Farewell

2009-01-02T16:02:00.002+08:00

I'll be leaving for UK in another 10 hours. ): I'm feeling rather scared. There are so many 'what ifs' going on in my head. I really hope I'll fit in there. I'll miss everyone here. & I'll definitely miss you* more... Bye bloggie, will log back in again when I'm in UK. *sighs*

Goodbye, Malaysia.

(:

2009-01-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year.

Could this be a new year that I'll remember?

Brand New

2008-12-30T18:17:00.003+08:00

Stop asking me how I feel about going over to UK, people. Honestly, I dunno. I dunno what or how I'm supposed to feel. Well, I don't feel anything yet, but I'm sure those nerve-racking feelings will come soon enough since there's only 3 days left before I'm gonna fly off. *sighs* I hope I don't cry too much...

Christmas came & went just like that. I don't find it special, in fact, it's just like every other days to me. Stayed at home the whole day on Christmas & spent my time watching movies at home on the laptop. I think I watched 5! lol! Started off with Made of Honour, The Love Guru, The House Bunny, Definitely Maybe then lastly Connected. I'd say it's pretty fun & peaceful. I didn't have to think or worry 'bout anything; I laughed most of the time. It's a good thing I guess. (: That's the amazing part of watching romantic comedies, they never failed to crack me up & make me forget about all the pain. ;p

*

I'll be going to pasar malam later with him. I dunno what I should feel about that too. I think it's gonna be the same as usual but just a tiny bit different, I suppose... What am I saying, it's never gonna be the same. But oh well, this is life, what's meant to happen has to happen. I just need to accept just the way it is.

*

It's the 31st tmr. Wow, time sure flies. I really wanna go for the New Year countdown but dad said he's tired & all. *sighs* I didn't even go for last year's... & I don't have any other friends to go with, they prolly have plans. Even the cousin wanna go, but there's no one in particular who can really bring us there. How pathetic. *sighs* I hope things'll turn around tmr. *fingers crossed*

2008-12-29T00:46:00.000+08:00

I miss you...

Full-Stop

2008-12-25T17:51:00.006+08:00

Now that I know wishes don't actually come true, well, I suppose fairy-tales don't either. You put a full-stop half way through the chapters... Who am I to change everything? & I thought that you're everything I've got. I thought you're the reason for everything. I guess I was very wrong...

*

Goodness, Ying Wen, you're worth more. Stop thinking yourself as a cheap & shallow person. I have friends & families that care. I do not need to linger on the past. A past that will always haunt me nonetheless. But I guess I have to deal with it. I have to be the happy person again. Walk on a fresh & brighter path, I deserve more. I deserve better. *toast to a new beginning*

Yeah...

Merry Christmas, Ying Wen.

& now there's only me.

Dragged Deep Down & Under

2008-12-11T23:54:00.005+08:00

Some friends can be the stupidest people on earth.

I thought that friends are the people whom I can trust & depend on, but things are the other way round instead. I may not be the material for a Chinese-act sorta friend but still, I'm a person with dignity & pride. I still believe that the most essential elements in a TRUE (yes, note that i bold & enlarge 'true') friendship are loyalty & respect. God damn it, RESPECT is the freaking most important thing. If you guys really think that being all friendly & nice, or worse, PRETENDING to be nice is gonna get my attention & let my guard down, good for you guys then, y'all fucking got me. I pretty much see your true colours now; I guess 3 years can change everything huh? Well, now, I really don't give a damn to who you people have become. You guys have really proven me of what "great friends" you people are. Yeah, you fucking shown it! Thanks for all the troubles you've put me through from sending your stuff all the way to town & getting fined as well. Not to mention by ditching me too; don't you guys have a lil' self-respect at least? If you don't want me there, just fucking say it. Why wanna drag the time to the very last minute? Damn pathetic, okay! You think I have all the freaking god damn time? I have other better friends to hang out with & getting my chores done. & if I were to predict this would happen, I won't even bother showing up. Seriously, if I were you people, I'll dig a hole & hide there for the rest of my life.

*

Well, I've changed as well in these 3 years, but I think I've changed in a way far better than before to be a wiser, more matured, sensible & more outgoing person. & I honestly have to thank my friends from KL & also waiyi who were & STILL are there for me whenever & wherever I am, from cheering me up to making me so mad! lol! Now, I know why I can't call JB my home even though I thought it is; KL is my home, where I truly belong, my birthplace... it's in my blood & soul...

**

Names are not stated, but if any of you* happen to come across my blog, read it & know who & what I'm referring to, well, I hope it makes you* realise the state you guys have put me through. & honestly, I won't give a flying fuck about how you* feel now. I'm through with you people!

signed out*

Killing Me Softly

2008-12-05T20:03:00.008+08:00

Sometimes, you gotta be tougher than you really are. You will not know what's gonna happen next. & sadly, the news can just slap you right across the face with no sign of warning.

I know I'm a lil' late to say "SPM's FREAKING OVER!" now. But, heck, I'm too happy to actually blog about it & I rather use those free time to go shopping & hang out instead. Those sleepless nights for the big exams were really worth it. God knows what's gonna happen when results' out next year. Oh well, it's not the time to fret 'bout exams now...

*

It's almost a week since I finished my papers; been shopping & going out alot lately. & I finally got the stuffs that I anticipated for! A new phone & a laptop! *jumps for joy* :D I got a new Sony Vaio & it's the princess pink edition! I can bid farewell to my old Sony Ericsson Z530i & welcome my new Sony Ericsson C905! *squeals* My parents can pamper me alot sometimes... *sigh happily* lol!

Cousin's back from Australia; stayed over her place for 5 days. & I'm missing her laughter & her jokes. Hopefully I'll get to spend some more time with her before leaving for UK. =/ this is definitely gonna be tough. I'm excited to start a new life being in college & everything, learning new stuffs; but there's a part of me that I'm worried of what my path is gonna be... I suppose I just have to wait & see.

I hate my boyfriend sometimes.

Rejuvenation

2008-09-25T12:58:00.003+08:00

TRIALS ARE FINALLY OVER!

Well, it was actually yesterday, but heck, I didn't bother bloggin'. Started watching Moonlight Resonance yesterday since everyone was talking 'bout how awesome & reality-like it was. Though, of course, everyone finished watching it & I just started. So, I can be said to be a lil' outdated. -.- blame trials.

So far, the drama is great, very drama-sy I'd say. It's better than the first one I watched. Can get a lil' too touchy & frustrated while watching it. First, I had to wait for it to load & certain scenes in the drama were filled with such hatred that influenced me as well. But, honestly, it was worth the wait especially since I have nothing better to do after the trials. :D

Everyone has plans for the upcoming holidays & mine is still pending. Well, I dunno if it's consider under pending list since we haven't actually plan anything yet. -.- The boyfriend only gets 2 days of Raya holidays & I have a week. What am I gonna do for the rest of the days?

munnnn, let's go out!!! :D :D

Uncoil Me

2008-09-14T21:06:00.006+08:00

When I thought freedom is within my reach, it had to drift few inches further to remind me that I still have to stretch a lil' more to grasp hold of it. Pathetic-ism.

Trials started on the 2nd of September.

Just when I thought it was all over after 2 long weeks of sleepless nights & paper cuts, everything had to start from scratch tomorrow.

Half down, another half to go.

Fingers-tightly-crossed.

Complications

2008-08-09T20:04:00.002+08:00

There's only 4 months & 3 weeks left before leaving all of these behind. What if I don't wanna leave any of it behind?

16 Months & Counting On

2008-08-08T11:08:00.005+08:00

Happy 16th Month, baby.

It's crazy knowing how time flies. It's already 1 year & 4 months. I never knew that we would last this long. It didn't take me a lifetime to know that you're everything.

Despite all that had happened, I'm glad I'm still with you. I never gave up & I've never regretted at all. It may all seemed really tiring & exhausting but loving someone is about forgiving & learning to love deeper & more unconditional.

But I supposed, words can't possibly describe everything. It's the thoughts that count & the heart that cares.

- xoxo -

lots of love.
ilwa&f. `

Phobia

2008-08-06T21:08:00.002+08:00

i still fear of what i shouldn't. why is it still bothering me?

trust. learn the word, yingwen. learn the word.

Philosophy

2008-08-06T00:08:00.004+08:00

i can be rather contradicting at times.

the boyfriend is out with his friends. i guess this is what i can do while waiting for him to get home.

*

it's funny & strange how when i said that i've sorta decided to delete this blog but yet i still log back right into blogger.com & post this entry. i guess feelings do build up when you've wrote down so many happenings on an online diary. the place where you pen down almost everything in your life & express those untold feelings in the heart. my blog is the place where i've wrote down a numerous sorts of feelings of bitter & sweet. this blog is the 'person' that i've shared most of my feelings to apart from the boyfriend & my closet friends. a blog is also the heaven that allows me to spill everything out during my sad & happy moments without anyone feeling irritated or intimidated by all my ramblings.

well, alot had happened recently. arguments with the boyfriend, my mom & the sudden swelling of my knee. it's tiring. those mixed feelings are like tearing me apart. but of course, things are okay now. (: & i'm really glad that it's all over.

the thing with the boyfriend was horrible. i guess both of us hurt each other deeply. i felt & still is feeling bad for what i've done. maybe if i hadn't got into the car, none of that would have happened. but i supposed god works in his mysterious ways to let life goes as it is to be filled with ups & downs. to teach us to be wiser & more philosophical. although things happened, but i'm glad everything is all over. it taught me a great lesson to appreciate you. i learn to love you deeper & care for you more. it's not the same as before but i know it's a new beginning. tho' i have to admit i have doubts on myself whether if i can cope with it but deep down, everything is worth it. i love you, baby.

as for my mom, she's been a great companion & i love her much for it. tho' i did not tell her the sad things that happened to me even if i wanted to. it wasn't necessary for her to worry stuffs like these about me. she had enough in hands to make her stressed out & intensed. i don't wish to add any extra burden on her. i realised that it's harder to keep things quiet & hide away my feelings from her. but that's what i had to do.

as for my knee. oh only god knows what's wrong with it 'cuz i dunno either. i'm going for treatment & i'm unable to go to school for 2 weeks. it's such a long time & i can't afford to miss any classes before the upcoming trials. well, i guess at least i can study more at home.

with all these put together, it was more than enough to kill me! it was suicidal. but i'm glad i had mun, leon & chooming encouraging me to cope thru it & stand strong. i was touched by their words. those words said reminded me of so many things. they played over & over again in my head. it was as tho' the msgs are already recoreded & saved in there. it always bring fresh tears that sting my eyes. i'm really grateful to have you guys at my weakest of point & my darkest of sorrows. but i supposed words obviously can't describe the gratitude of it.

***

anyways, enough of those. all of a sudden i felt emo. it's amazing how i could type all those out without crying anymore. (: i've learn to stand strong or at least i think i am standing strong. lol! day's been boring. been stucked at home studying & just watching dramas in between resting hours. i miss my friends in school. come to think of it, i'm getting rather tired of studying but knowing me, i still need to have a book there with me regardless whether i'm resting or not. i need to read something at least be it novels, model test papers or magazines.

friday is the 8th. it's gonna be the 16th month soon. i really hope mom would let me go out on that day despite that i can't walk that much. but i really wanna walk for a bit & be out from the house. & what's worse, i couldn't get the bf anything, being stucked at home & all. maybe something simple will do, hopefully he doesn't mind. wanted plan a surprise but seemingly i don't think it'll work now. oh well.

yay. the boyfriend is back. well, toodles for now. gosh, i've been rambling away so much that i don't even rmb what i've just wrote. this is the weirdest entry, i guess it's because it's past bed time. feeling a lil' wuzzy.

signed out *

2008-08-01T20:02:00.002+08:00

i think it's time for me to shut down this blog & let memories remain where they are supposed to be...

Where Rainbows End

2008-07-30T14:12:00.012+08:00

i'm getting the feeling i won't make my blog last that long as i promised when i first signed up on blogspot after all. what rubbish. -.-

anyways, it's been ages since i last updated. almost a month ago i think. sheesh. so much for being a 'responsible' blogger. what has it gotta do with responsible anyways.

- updates -

i just had my 17th birthday in the gardens & mid valley on the 27th of july with most of my friends in school. i love them all. :D they are like the sweetest angels ever. mun, leon, alex, kah hean, jinxung, shusim, lianyan, junhao, bernard, chooming, pang, shermin & jason were there for my birthday.

it's been such a long time since i celebrated it. for the past 3 or 4 yrs, it's either me being sick / injured my foot / parents were in overseas. so there goes my b'day down the drain. but it was different this year & i'm really glad everything went well. my mom even got back from overseas on the 25th. had a small celebration with her & the family on sunday night; parents still owe me presents, i don't care! :D had an early celebration on saturday night with the boyfriend. he was really sweet, got me an odm watch. *loves* well, apart the fact that he had to attend his friend's b'day after that -.- *sobs*. he didn't even wait until 12am. oh well, it was all good.

friends made my day on the 27th. got plenty of presents from them. but what touches me weren't the presents, but the fact they cared so much about me that i didn't acknowledge of before. i'm really grateful to mun, leon, alex & the rest of them for the lil' but yet special surprises. & specially to mun, the one that was always there for me regardless of the most miserable of time & the happiest of moments, gave me a novel with a short msg written inside. you make me teared after reading it. all i could say & think of is thank you so much to all of you. but of course, not forgetting my beloved cousin all the way in australia wishing me happy b'day as well. same goes to my friends from jb. (:

some of the pictures that we took.

more pictures will be up hopefully when i get them from leon if & ONLY IF i rmb to post them.

i guess that's all about now. rambling away on a weekday when i'm supposed to be in school but sadly i'm sick with a terrible flu, sorethroat & a fever. back to studying.

p.s: i drove! :D

PMS

2008-06-18T22:00:00.000+08:00

i'm one day late.

2008-06-16T18:05:00.001+08:00

emo-fied.

More Than What You Thought

2008-06-12T17:53:00.005+08:00

only to those who know me well enough. i heart you guys.

What Choong Ying Wen Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.

You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.

You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

i had nothing better to do & so that's the reason for this. somehow, after reading what came up as the result, it kinda make me realise that it's partly true. & it spooks me. =/

Kiss My Ass Goodbye

2008-06-10T18:23:00.002+08:00

it's funny to know that there are two contradicting sides of a person.

Twilight of Aggravation

2008-06-04T19:47:00.004+08:00

history is condemned to repeat itself.

& once again, just when you think that everything's over, it had to wash & slap you across the face. to remind you of the past. to remind you of what you did. to remind you that your heart still aches from the pain.

memories are often known as sweet. but there are bitter moments that ppl remember. nothing in the world is perfect, no one is flawless. but of course, it doesn't mean we can't hope or wish for things to go our way. it doesn't necessarily conclude that we're on our own, draggin' our feet on the untrodden paths & conceding shadows of others'. at least, now i know that i won't always be alone. i know that you're still gonna be there. at least i'll know that i don't have to face the cruelty alone.

even if it means i'm gonna lose everything, there's a thought of it that counts. there's a heart that cares. & there's the memories that will put me thru it all.

if only you knew.

Looks can be Deceiving

2008-05-21T18:53:00.004+08:00

& i thought cempaka was efficient.

so much for that. the fuse-box or whatever you call that thing was burnt ytd (that's what i heard) & because of that, the air-conditioning in that particular block is down.

what's worse, my class is in that block! for the love of god, just get it fixed or get a substition like maybe a standing fan in each classroom to comfort us (students & teachers) it's so hard to concentrate with the heat that's burning your skin & making you sweat while doing your exams. i was sticky even before 12pm. & by the end of the day, my butt was literally soaked. damn disgusting. it's as though i cannot tahan & peed in my skirt before reaching the toilet.

we pay so much for the school fees, nearly $6000 per sem. & this is what we get. wth.

i so wanna sue you.

Illiterate

2008-05-20T16:51:00.006+08:00

man boobs are 'moobs'. or so i've been told. i did a search on google & believe it or not, they are really called moobs & atrociusly disgusting.

okay, so physics came & went. surprisingly, it's not as bad as i thought it should be. i think out of all my sciences, physics is the subject that didn't make me stress as much as it should compared to the others. but oh well, it's over & i just have to keep my fingers crossed that results will turn out well. i wanna improve. duh, of course, i don't wanna get degraded or something after working so hard.

i just wanna know that i'm capable to do well & so, that proves that i can work extra harder to gain a higher grade which i hope i will for the other upcoming exams. i have english & math exams tmr. it's not so bad, right? i just have to worry for math i supposed.

& ppl or i'd say my loveable friends, please stop calling me "england" or "you're made from england" or any other phrases with "england" in it. i'm so not made from england. -.- just because my name is yingwen doesn't make me england. now i realised, i have such great friends.

*

today is the 20th may. yeah i know that all of you can read the date from the header & i know that most of you know what day it is today but heck, i don't care. i'm gonna say it either way.

today is the 20th may. & so it's my great daddy's birthday. although he's not here in m'sia but we will have a belated celebration when he gets back this friday. good dinner in some delicious & expensive restaurant, bill under your name. :D

HAPPY 49th BIRTHDAY!
lolol. you're one year older! :D

ehh, & i sent like 2 text msgs to his number in nigeria last night exactly at 12am sharp m'sia time wishing him happy birthday. & guess what, the msgs couldn't be delivered. -.- blame the operator or whatever for not receiving the msgs. i'm still a good daughter for wishing wishes that are not delivered.

---edited---

i went through my archives & i just realised that my blog is already 1 year old. well, 1 year old & 5 days to be precise. it's so hard to picture that i've actually typed all these entries on my online diary for the past one year. it spooks me knowing how fast time flies.

Fast Forward

2008-05-19T19:14:00.003+08:00

why does always bad moments have to last longer than the good ones?

it's making me sick & tired of trying to get over the phobia (yes, i fear exams. literally have a phobia) of having exams to be over. it's monday today & i have 3 more days left before we go for the mid year break. but those 3 days seems so long away plus i have exams as well. i'm drenched out of having facts & formulae getting implanted in my brains, it's like it's gonna explode & squish out from my skull! sheesh. the day is dragging itself. i can't wait for exams to be over but come to think of it, the next exams i'll be facing will be trials which i think is hell alot worse.

just stab me please. anything. oh, what the heck, i have to live through it. no matter how much i'm complaining, i need to face it nevertheless. ):

i always thought reality is a lesson to learn for me to stand strong & suck in everything i've got to face the world. but you know what, i'm out of breath. seriously. i need a break but it always bring guilt in the end.

Hormones

2008-05-18T15:20:00.006+08:00

it scares me in a good way i hope, knowing how my time of the month is always exactly on the 18th morning.

the first week of exams is over, leaving me with 4 more subjects to kill next week. just hope that i can survive the cramps for these few days & pray to lord that i don't faint from the pain.

don't you just love physics.

Spreading the Love

2008-05-11T13:25:00.005+08:00

it doesn't need countless words to let you know how much you mean to me. all that matters is from the bottom of my heart.

happy mother's day (:
i love you.

xo.

Motherly Love

2008-05-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

mom's gonna be home in less than 24 hrs. (:

Karma

2008-05-04T13:39:00.003+08:00

i just had a deja vu.

anyways, mid-year is around the corner. precisely, on the 14th of may. ): boohoo. stressing moments of life once again. how i wish i'm a super genius, memorising & storing every single piece of information in my oh so squishy brain.

i have a big feeling that i won't do well for my mid year. well, come to think of it, i said the same old thing everytime when i have an exam -.-

i need serious motivations.

2008-05-01T23:18:00.003+08:00

goner. 1.05.08. please don't say things that you don't mean it anymore. 'cuz in the end, the one walking away with tears on the face isn't you. certain things said it's irreversible.

never wish upon a star

2008-04-27T22:40:00.003+08:00

just when i thought that things are finally turning around, reality had to hit me in the face just so i can feel the pain all over again. i don't understand why fresh tears still sting my eyes. do i even mean anything to you anymore? there is a difference, & i can feel it. no matter how many times you tried to convince it, it's not helping any longer. everything you said used to mean alot; it makes me feel right but i don't know about now. i want to feel the way i felt before, but you're making things so hard for me. maybe time do wear things off. i guess i can't hope for things to turn around or even hope that things will be how they were supposed to be.

i shouldn't have put up such high hopes, it hurts from falling. & i really don't wanna fall again. stars are meant to stay there & not to be reached, because i know no matter how hard i try to reach them, there are worse consequences that i have to face.

Irreversible

2008-04-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

is it me? or are things starting to change in a blink of an eye(okay, maybe not just a blink)? but still, things aren't the same. & it's bothering me in a way that makes me feel so insecure. i don't feel the warmth that i used to feel before. i'm falling deeper into an endless pit. i wish time could just stop. needless to say, for the past few days, i'm always depressed. but all i can do is just fake it with a smile & let the world know that i'm okay. am i really okay? that, i can't even answer it truthfully. sometimes, i wonder if god is working his mysterious ways to put me through all these? to be frank, i have enough of everything. the people. work. & life. i just wonder when will it end.

Shitty People

2008-04-21T21:33:00.004+08:00

i feel so depressed. ): i wish things were better or at least i hope that she's not so problematic. but i guess, the more i hope & wish for something, the harder it'll be fulfilled. i may be a happy go lucky girl from the outside at times, laughing things off & not get pissed off that easily. but on the inside, honestly, i don't even know who i am. i'm numbed from the pain that i've went through; i guess you can say that i'm immuned to it. however, being a sensitive girl that i am, scars will always bleed & nvr heal.

*

everything is written in god's book, no matter how hard you try to prevent or intervene it, it'll still happen. it's fate. what fate can do is not in our control.

Incantations

2008-04-10T18:41:00.003+08:00

*scratches* i have a stupid itchy mosquito bite on my left arm. -.- annoying!

anyways, spm study skills is next week. eek, definitely not something to be happy about. presentations & all those stuffs. i hope i'll survive. *fingers-crossed*
speaking of which, i have bio presentation to do on that day itself as well -- on stage! =/ kill me!

***

i have sejarah powerpoint presentation to do & yet i'm blogging here. so much for concentrating. -.-

p.s: headache still hasn't subside. i wonder what's wrong with me.

on msn:
me: mee(mom), headache laa! )': *whines* there's monthly test tmr somemore!
mom: maybe too much stress. stop studying & go to sleep. it's okay to fail monthly test.

- yes, that's my mom. encouraging me to fail. - wouldn't you just love her?

am i really stressing THAT much?

2008-04-09T22:35:00.000+08:00

major headache.

2008-04-08T18:36:00.002+08:00

i have a sudden urge to delete this blog & create a new one on wordpress.com. so depressing!

***

it's the o8.o4.o8.
the day that marks a year.

- loves.`

2008-04-04T21:45:00.001+08:00

2008-04-03T09:18:00.001+08:00

i feel so bad skipping school.
):

2008-04-01T16:43:00.006+08:00

i wish i knew more.
i wish i wasn't this way.
i wish that i don't have to pretend to like you.
i wish that i do not need to hide my inner feelings.
i wish that you can just get out of my life.

i wish, i wish, i wish ... stupid!

***

oh oh, happy april fool! :D

***

i'm having a flu. =/

2008-03-25T20:13:00.003+08:00

things hasn't been the same & i have this huge-ass feeling that everything that i'm going through right now will just spill over. i'm at the brink of falling apart. i dunno who i am anymore. i can't find the one i was before, & the feeling is so not right. i tried so hard to be okay, telling myself to be who i was before. but my brains are not sending the right impulses to make my body work that way. sleeping is harder than before now, i don't get proper gdnight sleep anymore & it scares me. what is wrong with me? & sometimes, even if there are so many people around me, i will still feel so alone. i feel tired of everything, i want things to work out fine, but what's the point wanting something that i know will not happen? maybe i lost hope & faith to believe in myself. i just want to get over everything that's bothering me.

but the worse thing is, i don't even know what's bothering me ...

i'm so frustrated that i didn't even bother to give this post a title.

2008-03-20T15:43:00.001+08:00

I have fringe now.

=/

It's all Over

2008-03-06T19:19:00.003+08:00

Finally! My first mid-semester is finally overrr!!! rawr! :D

I'm fricking ass happy that I don't feel like blogging at all.

Okay, done.

Bye!

Goodbye

2008-02-01T16:11:00.000+08:00

United Kingdom. If you have lemon, make lemonade.

Omg! I'm leaving today. Time passes way fast than I expected. It's 4.15 pm now & I'll be heading to the airport in an hour. *sighs* It's a good thing, I guess...

Walter accompanied me for almost the entire day today. Awww, I'm missing him already. ): *boohoo* worse, 8th of Feb is next thursday & it's the 10th month! )':

***

Anyways, yesterday in school was pretty fun. I mean, there were no classes. All of us were in the hall for CNY assembly before the long break from 1/12 - 10/2. So yeah. :D it's all laugthers & jokes. Not forgetting, picture taking as well. -.- Can't think of anything else to babble about. Gotta go now.

Perfectly Candid by Siew Kheng. -.-

This trip better be a good one.

2 more Fricking Days

2008-01-30T16:55:00.000+08:00

It may seem as though it's the beginning, but I never thought that it's already soon to be the ending.

Updates! My gosh!

Sorry for the somber lack of updates, people! Goodness. It's been forever, I know! I never thought that there are people who actually read my blog apart from waiyi. Aww, I'm so touched. *sniff* My life now is either bundled up by assignments & hwk or non-stop tuition 24-7. wth! no life laa, me. =/ ish-ness.

Tommorow's the last day of school before the 10 days CNY hols. [ 1/2 - 10/2 ] but it's up to 12/2 for me since I'll be so fricking away for the UK trip. -.- *grumble* ehh, c'mon laa, it's CNY & yet I have to spend it there. What is wrong with the world? *what has it gotta do with the world, anyways* -.- urgh!

& the bad thing is, tonnes & tonnes of holiday work makes the holidays worse. Thanks to the teachers that is. sigh. C'est la vie. I need a break.

***

School's been fun, I guess, so far at least[?] but oh well, not that there's much to complain about it. I'm so not ready for the trip. I feel excited yet disappointed. How contradicting can I get? Sheesh.

***

I came to realise [ very long ago ] that the Earth, well, the whole galaxy will be sucked into The Black Hole & everything will just vanish like that. It's creepy! However, all of these will happen & it's all due to human's action: polluting, open-burning, global warming etc. So, people, be clean! Care for the world! *heal the world*

Questions never fail to run through my minds. I mean;
Where will we be after we die?
Do we float around?
Are we gonna be in hell or heaven?
WHERE THE HECK DO WE GO?!

I so don't wanna die young.

Lulu Castagnette Paris

2008-01-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

Just when you think it's the end of the world & nothing is on your side, just look up towards the sky. (:

Omg! I dunno how I should start my post but I am one of the lucky winners in Seventeen Magazine Dec 2007 issue for the Lulu Castagnette Paris Perfume!

Well, I don't really know what it smells like but it says that...
it's a sparkling opening with a combination of jucy Cherry, zesty Yuzu[?] & Bergamont[?] revealing a feminine bouquet of Jasmine, Wild Rose a& Nashi Pineapple. -.-

Oh-kay, screw that. Who cares about the description! All I care now is that I am one of the LUCKY winners! Sorry if this post offends you & I'm not braggin', seriously. It's just that I feel so crazie ass happy that I actually won something through a sms & win contest for the first time in my 16 years of life! phew. :D :D :D sorry laa.

Anyways, the UK trip has been confirmed. Will not be celebrating CNY in M'sia this year. ): I'm sorry waiyi. I really really wish that I can spend CNY with you, but I guess luck is not our side. sighs. I'll miss you... but I'll be seeing you on Sunday, right? :D shall be shopping! Can't wait to see you.

Need to get my ass back to hwk-ing. So much for TGIF. *pouts* ):

Chinese New Year much?

2008-01-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that everything is going my way.

I should really consider about not putting my hopes way up high. My butt seriously hurts from that fall. ish.
I can't believe it, I'll be spending CNY (first 4-5 days) in UK(with family)! I'm not sure if it is something to be thrilled of or disappointed. It's 50-50 of each. Going there to survey my soon-to-be-college for A-Level next year.

sigh. I really thought that I'll be able to spend CNY with waiyi this year since it'll be my last in M'sia. ): & now, down with this.

sigh . sigh . sigh .

I dunno what else I can do.

sigh . sigh . sigh .

2008-01-05T01:31:00.000+08:00

My dear Wennxx...

...................SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...................

Haha..I know..its kinda lame and I guessed that you would have already found out when 'small bridge' asked you for the password.
Anyway, thats not the point..the point is...

Now I know school just started 2 days ago and you are already super stress about all the workload..be it assignments, homework, test..and the list goes on and on and on and on..
Gosh!! Don't you wish the list will just stop there??
So, the point of this post is to cheer you up...and also I think I kinda messed up your ever lovely page although I swear I didn't do anything.

Item #1

I know you love chocolate and you are like the biggest chocolate freak that I have ever known.
Hope this will cheer you up a bit and not make you crave for it.
However, if you wish to have some, you can always come to my place and have all the Hersheys you want.

Item #2

Need I say more??? =)

Finally, just remember that no matter what happens, I will always be there to help and annoy you.

xoxo..

Love,
~ your ever lovable devilish princess~

New Year's Tipsy Turvy.

2008-01-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

omg! i drank something with alcohol for the first time!

apart from, shandy that is. -.-

i drank vodka mixed with juice at walter's new year's party just now!
vodka.
sheesh.

i'm so dead if my parents find out.

*eyes opened wide*

shhh.

off to bed, bitch!

signed out. *

New Year's Resolutions?

2008-01-01T01:27:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

another year has gone & past.

a new begining.
a new chapter in my life that will be written in permanent ink.

*

how sad it is that I didn't go for the new yr's countdown this year.

):
dad's lazy & decided to stick around at home.

there's a problem with my cell phone's network & i couldn't send out the msgs.

what a start for 2008.

by this thursday, school's opening.

classes & science labs.
languages & humanities.
maths & sciences.
sigh.

happy spm yr to me. =/

signed out. *

Note to Self - New Year's Resolution for now: Straight As for SPM!

Purple Horizon.

2007-12-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

i'll get my new spectacles tmr! (:

other than that, there's nothing much.

went out with waiyi & her parents to town.

we went to Central Market, Time Square & Sg. Wang.

didn't get anything expect rubber bands for school.

that's really it i guess.

will be going downtown AGAIN!

lol.

signed out *

i miss you...

p.s: god, please don't rain tmr! i wanna go pasar mlm!

Neglected Christmas.

2007-12-25T13:56:00.000+08:00

this is what i do on christmas day. [ 25.12.07 ]

sit around at home. blogging.

where i could have been out & come back to blog about it.

oh well.
lol. at least i have waiyi to accompany me. ;p

25.12.2007`

2007-12-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas! :D

bye!

3 Hours & 49 Minutes Before Christmas.

2007-12-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

*holds mistletoe*
heluu people!

I won't be able to log in to blogspot for quite sometime.

will be away. so yeah. (:

don't miss me. ;p as if anyone will. hah!

*

Prom wasn't that bad on the 21st of Dec. (:
was expecting more but oh well. i had fun. so i guess that's what matters most. :D

pictures will be uploaded if i have the time & IF i get to use the internet when i get home.

so that's all for now.

Merry Christmas, People!
May Santa or whoever's daddy bring you more & better christmas presents. (;
*jingle bell jingle bell...*

signed out *
P.S: santa, rmb me pressie. (:

The 5 Days of Christmas.

2007-12-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

" i feel so christmasie all of a sudden. "

omg! i can't believe it's tmr!
*squeaks in not a good mood*

2007-12-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

i am so frustrated!

*

i'm not ready for prom.

=/

sigh.

*

things haven't been going my way & i don't like the feeling of being alone.

*

yay, waiyi is sleeping ovr at my place tmr! i can't wait!
girly talks & more gossips!!! :D
i can feel myself grinning non-stop.

giler lah.

Bitches & Miss Pretentious.

2007-12-19T14:53:00.000+08:00

why are you still there when I just want you to get the heck out?

you have to go bugging in my life.

do you really think it'll just make it hard for me?

well, yeah. it will. making it hard for me to actually forgive you.

oh wait, I'll NEVER even forgive you.

so what's the point really.

get lost BITCH!

I hate you I hate you I hate you.

urgh. it makes me so mad just thinking about it.

i guess that will only make matters worse.

whatever it is, I just wish you could just mind your own biz.

as for what you have in your life, it's not my problem anymore.

so what if you'll look pretty.?

you look pretty ugly on the inside already anyway.

I have something more special than just being pretty.

I have something more worthwhile for me to be proud of, THIEF.
*smirks*

all you do is just pretend that you're such a sweetheart & everything nice?

save it, please.

you can try hiding them from friends or others.

but sooner or later, they'll know.

so just pray that god is on your side.

Mistletoes & Holly.

2007-12-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

i love christmas shopping.

went christmas shopping in midvalley today.

it was great, went around the whole mall & trying to find the right thing to get for waiyi.

lol.

she did the same. we went our separate ways & met up after an hour.

got her the rich plum body butter set from body shop, red earth eyeliner from sasa & a golden head band from teddy tales.

she got me a shirt from MCKY! :D :D
a really cute shirt. teehee. (:

will try to go for christmas shopping again for my parents, brother & boyfriend. (:

but still clueless on what to get for them. oh well.

i miss him.

signed out. *

I hate you, bitch!

2007-12-16T12:24:00.000+08:00

who are you to touch my things & snoop around?

after everything you did, you are still so bloody thick-skinned to actually take things from me? things which include my money!

seriously, if i was given the chance, i'll slap you as if there's no tmr.

but all i can do now is to ignore you. i did ignore you. you're totally outta my world.

you're already invisible to me.

i pity you really.

by doing god knows what you're doing only give you a worse life.

so go on & continue, in the end i will still be the one walking away with a big smile on my face whether if i lose my stuff or not.

that's cuz the inside's that matters.

i shall wait & see your ending.

life hasn't been fair at all, just so you think that ppl around you know how you feel.

they're awfully wrong.

ppl like mothers end up scolding you for utterly absurd reasons.

what the hell is wrong with the world?

am i just some doll for all of you to play around with?

am i seriously a fool to pretend whatever that happened did not happen at all?

i did try to pretend that nothing happened...

that's because you told me so.

& why do you have to side others in the end?

am i such a shame to you?

i did what i was told, i did what was right. & this is what you tell me in the end?

i didn't know things like these will be so wrong.

do i even mean anything to you?

each time you want someone to release your anger, i was the one being scolded & blamed.

is that all i'm worth?

if it is so, i'll just keep everything inside of me until a day i can't bear it any longer.

as for decisions, what's the point asking me how i feel.

after all, in the end you still make the choice for me.

I am so not ready.

2007-12-15T14:14:00.000+08:00

daddy's finally back from good ol' nigeria. after all these months.

6 months to be precise.

tsk tsk, it's been a loooonnnggg time.
it's great to see him again.

nvr thought that i'll miss him that much.

*shy away*

:D

well, that's all for now. day's been boring. i need something better to do than sit around at home when i don't have tuition classes especially.

i wanna be else where than home.

i wanna go out.
):

*
he's having his 6 hours driving class today, can't even go out with him.

can't even go out with waiyi. )):

i'm missing him already.

2007-12-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

& my cookies were a succes! i'm crazie happy, the cookies finally look like cookies[?]! wee! :D :D :D

i've got about only 20 of it. walter came over to help. awww. (:

gave him about 8. so yeah. the rest is mine. :D

well, that's all for now i guess. gonna go to the airport tonight, daddy's back!

it's a good thing & a bad thing.
well, i guess i'll be heading off to OUG tomorrow since he's home.
OUG =no internet. ):
sighs.

well, at least it's closer to waiyi's place. teehee.

signed out *

i'm sooo not ready for prom. )):

2007-12-14T10:46:00.000+08:00

i'll be baking chocolate chip cookies later! :D

2007-12-13T18:03:00.001+08:00

i'm done with my essay!

2007-12-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

& i'm finally done with my mom's list of shipments on excel! yay-ness!

they're gonna pack tomorrow. need to rush it like crazie cow! ish. haven't even taken my lunch.

yet, i'm still blogging here. lol! that's all for now. (:

ajax fabuloso! xD

i find this funny.

signed out *

p.s: i still have an essay not done. ): boohoo.

2007-12-13T13:08:00.000+08:00

i have another essay to do.
tired of it.

2007-12-11T13:30:00.000+08:00

will you just get the hell outta my life!

you're seriously getting on my nerves!

what the bloody hell is wrong with you?!

get lost, bitch.

2007-12-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

i had enough of random people adding me on msn. & pretending that they know me very well.

pathetic!

i miss you.

2007-12-09T12:09:00.001+08:00

things aren't the same.

2007-12-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

[ 8.12.07 ]

another month has passed. & it's already 8 months being together with you.

life can be so unpredictable when you fall for the one. i dunno how long this will last, but i hope it'll be long enough to make me happy. (:
i love you.

8 months & counting on...

***

anyways, we went to midvalley today. was supposed to go with mom but she decided to ditch me & head off to Parkson. wth.

typical mom. -.-

went to body shop at first & stupid sales lady bloody conned me! =/ i've got coupons for certain items in body shop. so, basically normal ppl like us would think that the coupons are to redeem those items. & of course, i did ask the sales lady a few times to confirm it. & she said yes!
YES!

i grab the stuffs that i wanted & head off to the cashier. i thought the total of it would be about $100+ but nooooo...
it was fricking $235!

my eyes went crazie big! i didn't expect it to be that much. & worse mom didn't come with me, i had only 170++ in my purse. )': how i wish the atm card is still with me...
so i told her that i just want the black & glitter eyeliner. it's $77 for both.

so much for smiling-wide-in-the-end-of-the-day.

wth.

sighs!

):

watched enchanted with him. the 3rd time i'm watching it! lol! but it's a good movie & i don't mind. besides, he hasn't watch it yet. so, decided to accompany him. :D i'm a good girlfriend, yes? *perasan-ing*

that's pretty much it. day has been quite short. had tuition in the morning. reached midvalley at 3.15. didn't get to shop around much. oh well.

***

sometimes, a person's patience has its limit. you went beyond it & i had enough. if you insist it is me. fine, it's me. but it's only because i'm nice enough to say "it's me". if it was someone else, you won't always win & get what you want. after all, i'll just walk away & accept that you need someone to take the blame.

signed out *

p.s: i wanna go christmas shopping. (:

2007-12-07T13:49:00.000+08:00

ENCHANTED - A must watch movie.

(:

2007-12-06T14:05:00.000+08:00

My fingers are tired from typing out my mom's list of things bought for her air shipment.

save me!!!

2007-12-04T14:42:00.000+08:00

" i'm getting tired of blogging. "

dis-insane me please.

2007-11-30T13:09:00.000+08:00

have to go back to school later...
...
again!
=/

2007-11-27T14:04:00.000+08:00

i'm bored!

everyday is the same old thing.

"breathe,
breathe,
breathe."

2007-11-26T22:26:00.000+08:00

Fantasy.

was out the ENTIRE day.
phew`
finally back.
was out to waiyi's place.

it's sooooo great to see her again.
:D

& she did get something for me from aussie.
...

tadah!

i looooveee it!
i love you too laa, cousin. :D
*see i made it bigger*
thank you sooo much!

***
had dinner with cousins, grandma, brother & mom.
there were vegies, crabs, lala (not human) & toufu.
yummy-licious.

that's all for now i guess.

signed out *

too bad i can't go out with waiyi to nichi [ is that how you spell it? ] fashion city tmr. ):

2007-11-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

& now she's finally home!

after all these months.
-.-
lol!

i'm getting all bubbly inside.
because...
...

i get to see waiyi tmr! yay yay yay!
i can't wait.

crap. i don't even know what else to say.
=/ wth.

anyways, i'm facebooking! :D
really addictive.
gosh.

***

i still don't have a prom dress.
=/

signed out *

p.s: cousin, make sure you're awake when i go ovr tmr morning. teehee. :D

2007-11-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

6 more fricking hours!

" i'm getting so hooked up on facebook. "

2007-11-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

i finally got facebook!

2007-11-24T17:48:00.000+08:00

piggy back rides. (:

i'm back! yays. from the trip that is. -.-
well...
...

it wasn't as bad as i expected.

left school at 'round 8-ish. it seemed like it took forever to reach kuala selangor.
the mangrove is actually a park. some sort of a 'taman perlindungan'.
it stinks! =/

but got used to it after an hour.
the first round of tracking was BAD!
the sun was scorching. mosquitoes actually chased after us. goodness.

if you start walking, you can NEVER stop. if you do.
it's amen to you. seriously.
all of us got bitten badly. we were like nature donors or something.

but whatever. i was complaining alot during the first round.
what? *look around* i was hungry. i get cranky when i'm hungry.
especially when i'm the mosquitoes' food. *sobs*

went for lunch in this restaurant. they actually have air conditioning! :D
everything was done by 3-ish.
then off to the park again. -.-
ROUND TWO!

& this time, we have to go into the mud. as in real mud. stinking eeky mud. eww.

there were really tiny crabs & mud skippers. well, we have the choice whether to go in or not.
so i figured, since i'm already there, & it's not like i'm gonna go there again. hell no.
so i went in. YES! i went in! i'm proud :D
*can't stop beaming*

it was disgusting at first. the mangrove trees were around us. bushes & plants.
& worse of all. sea water. well, it's just up to our knees.
BUT..

...
it's mud underneath. we actually sink in. thank god i brought slippers.
i can't say that they are my life saver.
it get stuck in the mud as well. & it gives me double the work to get them out in the water.
luckily, ryan & alex were there to help me out. & not to forget ms. chang, the teacher. & my other friends. we helped each other thru' it. (:
i slipped tho'. ): my lower part of the body was wet. oh well. it was a great experience. lol. apart from the fact that i was wet & muddy after that.

***
after cleaning up, we went up the hill (a different place) to watch the sunset. i have the picture of it in my phone. will ask from my friends for all of the pictures. won't upload it now.

we had seafood for dinner! the locals there said the kuala selangor restaurant was the best seafood restaurant in town. so yeah. we were there. it was awesomely delicious. *slurps*
:D

around 9.30, we were at this fireflies place. there will be this sampan that 4 of us sit in & some malay dude will row it. RM10 per person. those fireflies are a beauty. &..
...
i caught one! i was the only one (in that sampan laa) that caught it. it's alot smaller than i expected. its butt glows! how cute. (:
& of course i let it go.

after that. we were back in the bus & heading off to kl. reached cempaka around 12.30. got home at 1am.
but it's all good. (:
photos will be uploaded later on.

waiyi oh waiyi.
1 more day! & you're gonna be home!
home sweet home, cousin! :D
ehh, you seriously didn't get anything for me?

***
i hate you bitch! i officially hate you with all my heart can hold.
you're nothing to me anymore. & you don't hold a single worthwhile place in my heart.

oh wait, i forgot.
YOU NEVER HAD A PLACE IN MY HEART BEFORE!
just fuck off.

signed out *

2007-11-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

fireflies.

i'm going on a biology trip tmr.
...
to kuala selangor!
=/

seriously, i dunno what to say 'bout it.
i don't feel like going yet i'm excited.

wtf. damn ironic laa me.
typical.
tsk`

we're gonna leave the school at 8-ish am & everything will be done at 7 to 8-ish pm.
yeap. at night. that will leave us..
*counts*
..to arrive school at 10pm.
*eyes open wide*

they said that we'll be bird-watching. as the birds from china are migrating to m'sia due to the upcoming winter. kononlah.
& they even claimed that we might actually get to see fireflies.
Oohh.

i like the sound of fireflies.

& there better be fireflies. or else.
*crack knuckles*
fireflies are the biggest reason i'm going for this trip.
so you guys (they*) better make sure your info are solid.

let's just hope that all of these turn out the way i expected tomorrow.
i ain't missing out going to the movies for nothing.

4 more days!

comel right? i know. :D

signed out *

[ too bad i don't have a camera. sobs * ]

2007-11-21T19:20:00.000+08:00

5 more days, cousin!

i can't wait.
(:
*beams wide*

***

i'm ignoring you as much as i can. & it's working splendidly for me. don't you dare spoil it, bitch.

2007-11-20T15:35:00.000+08:00

i'm going pasar malam later!

cousin, i bet you're jealous. ;p
we shall go when you get back, okay?

signed out *

2007-11-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, LIEW ZU-VUN!!!

[ birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake; so eat more! gain extra weight ;p ]

god bless! thanks for being there when i needed you. thru the ups & downs, tears & laughters, i'm really glad that you're my friend.

***

anyways, i'm seeing you tmr -.- lol! loooovvveee ya!!!

xoxo.

-mun² for life.!-

you better rmb that, i tell you. ;p

2007-11-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

hi people.

bye people. wtf.

lol.

-.-

yay! cousin's done with her exams. finally!!! whoosh! :DD
*can't stop grinning*
& the next thing is i can't wait for her to get her fat ass home!!! i miss you cousin!
i bet you miss me more. ;p

i want a new phone!

okay. done. bye.

signed out *

2007-11-12T17:50:00.001+08:00

report card day is tomorrow.

beware. eek`

xoxo.

2007-11-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

gdluck to spm-ers out there.

you guys have my support.

(:

signed out *

p.s: all the best to you dearie. i'll be your lucky charm. ;p lol! xoxo.

2007-11-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

mom's finally home.

(:

signed out *
off to the airport.

2007-11-08T19:08:00.000+08:00

i love you `

8th of nov.
7 months being together with you means alot more than just love.
after everything, those sorrows and tears..
it's not easy as it seems to last that long.

& maybe, some might even think that 7 months mean nothing at all. nothing compare to several yrs being together. it is true.
but being together does not need comparison.
it cannot be compared.

it is for both people to know whether if it is worth every single tears, love, frowns, smiles and laughters.
no one needs to knw those bad days we've went thru to understand how we feel.

nothing is the same & even ppl does jeopardize it.
it's none of their biz.

i am happy to be with you*
to be the one you* loved.
to be the one you* think of.
to be the one you* know that will always be there.

despite everything i did to you, i still cared no matter what.

to cope thru the bad times of life and the good times of life.
to appreciate more.

to smile wider.
to laugh louder.

to sense better.

to love greater.

***
karma.
'what goes around, comes around'
just like what some anonymous posted a msg in my chatterbox.
i deserved what happened on me.

uh huh, it is true. i do deserve it. i'm not denying anything. i let out the truth.

to open up my heart and not be afraid of how i feel.

i'm grateful of what happened to me because everything happened for a reason.

i accept it. i cherish it.
& i learn from it.

(:

i don't care what others think 'bout me any longer.

it used to matter alot.

but not anymore. those ppl out there thinks they know me better than anyone else.

but too bad, to those who think they know me and started commenting their thoughts, you guys seriously have to work on it. you did not make a fool of me by saying something rude or any discriminations.

you're just making a big fool outta yourself.
shame on you. whoever you are.

***
anyways, the day was boring. stuck at home. as usual. without better things to do.
i need to go shopping!
waiyi oh waiyi, when are you ever gonna come home?!
it's taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r.!
;p

rmb to get me pressies from ausssie too, kays? hehes. :DD
well, that's all bout it. toodles.`

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- heard it from 'a walk to remember' -

[ umm. to anon_gurl: i didn't get it wrong. i know it's from the bible. i searched for it on the internet. it's just tht i used the wrong words, tht's all. thanks anyways. & sorry. hope you have a good day. (: ]

ilwlkwa&f! (:

signed out *

2007-11-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.

)':

2007-11-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

things are not the same anymore.

lost in my own world`

when can all this be over?

2007-11-01T20:16:00.000+08:00

a walk to remember `

truth has finally been told, yet why am i filled with doubts?
life's difficult but i still need to go thru' it.
things happened for a reason.

i don't wanna go on the wrong path anymore.
please, show me the way.

- to witness a miracle -

signed out *

2007-10-31T17:51:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot!

Happy Halloween!!!
(:

trick or treat, ppl!

boo!

p.s: i find this witch annoying. =/ lol.

2007-10-31T14:12:00.000+08:00

listen to my thoughts; sing it back to me`

i'm bored. i guess skipping school wasn't a great idea afterall. but still, most of my friends are not in school either. it won't make a difference by going.

i need entertainment!
=/

***

whatever it is, something's bothering me. i'm in denial again. what is wrong with me?!
why is everything turning around again? i guess, things are meant to happen yet, i feel so trapped and lost.

or.
maybe, i'm just thinking too much and making things up in my mind assuming that everything was like that which might not actually be that way. i'm just making things more complicated. maybe, i'm over-thinking stuffs.

those hints and words are driving me up the wall.

what do you want from me?
i'm trying to forget...you left me dumb*struck.
lead me to the rightful path, please.

if you can, let out the truth. *

2007-10-30T20:58:00.000+08:00

raindrops on my tongue`

hey ppl, i'm back. with a new layout; decided to keep it simple and 'original'. so yeah, will stick to this for now. ;p anyways, was in school ytd and today. talentime went on yesterday. performances were great, yet i still think last yr's ones are way better. (: as of for ytd's, leon's dance group won. really glad to hear that they won, but still there were 'what is this' here and there 'bout how can they possibly win and stuffs like that. oh well.

anyways... right then. been busy attending my uncle's wedding days during the weekends. wedding ceremony on saturday and wedding dinner on sunday at legend hotel's grand ballroom, kuala lumpur. we actually arrived slightly later. was supposed to be there at 7pm but we reached there at 7.45pm. you know how wedding dinners are, they NEVER start exactly at the time stated on the invitation card. everything got dragged up to around 8-ish pm. -.- typical.

all the decorations are really grand. i like the ambience of the ballroom too. calm and pretty. (: apart from the leaking of the air-cond from above -.- wth. dripping on my arms and my dress. urgh. such a turn off. food's okay. better than expected; pork weren't served as it's a hotel. so all food served are halal. so yeah... oh oh! i took pictures too. but just a note to rmb, i don't have a camera yet, and i'm using my cousin's camera. so there are not that many pictures taken and i'm not really used to posting pictures yet as well. so picture time i supposed. (:

taken before going for the wedding.

the entrance -.- taken by my brother. :D

was bored. took a shot of one of the lightings in the ballroom. lol.

my lil' cutie-pie. he's adorable, isn't he? awww.

his older brother. another handsome one. (:

*drumrolls* ahem, my brother. ber-vain. purposely taken by me without him knowing. ;p shhh.

him again with his mom. (:

and his dad.

most of us were looking towards the real cameraman. so yeah. ;p lol.

the bride and groom. sorry, no clearer photo. bad camera. sighs.

posted this basically of him reaching out to touch it. lol.

taken outside the ballroom. was halfway thru the feast, decided to walk around.

me and him! finally, i have a decent picture with him. he nvr hold still. lol

his older brother's worse. lol. still i love them both. :D

swans.

my brother, me and the rascal. ;p

then... decided to camwhore at home. uh huh. i mean, u don't get occasions like these every so often. :D

my brother and i. :D

smiles. (:

charms to you. *

frozen in time.

***

it's weird to see pictures, and it brings back so many memories. it's like you really are frozen at that particular moment.

that's all for now. take care. toodles.

xoxo.

signed out *

p.s: why are you still there?

2007-10-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

tiffany & co.

went for the wedding this morning.
weather's pretty hot today.
sun's blazing its rays on us. goodness.
knew that i shouldn't have went but oh well. just got back. not like i can undo anything.
-.- as if i actually will.

***

wedding ceremony was at 2. thank god.
don't have to wake up that early. still bunking in my bed at 10am. :D
blardy proud.

what to do, tiring.

anyways, went there. wasn't much fun. most of them went over to the bride's house already.

so i just sat there and wait for them along with my yi-po`s and uncles.
play along with my cousin's. since they're so much younger than me, i had to feed them lunch whereas their grandmas are all mahjong-ing upstairs.
typical. lols.

so much for going there and got nothing. bored and tired.
i guess that's all for now. have to hit the showers. sweaty.

xoxo.

p.s: the bride's not that pretty. my 'kao fu' looks so much better than her. shh.

2007-10-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

wedding buffet`

ponteng-ed school today. ;p
was lazy, so decided to stay home and sleep.
pigging out at home. nothing much to do in school anyways. so yeah.

***

went for a wedding buffet just now in the evening.
my mom's cousin is getting married & they had a get together thing on the night before the wedding tmr. went over.
grandma didn't come with us, which is quite sad...
oh well. ):

food was okay. not great but okay.
watched my 2 cousin's played. one is 3 yrs old; the other is 2.
perfect combo. running around like there's no tmr. seriously. they nvr get tired.
sheesh` lol.
somehow, watching them run always put a smile on my face seeing how happy and innocent they look. they have nothing to worry bout.
i wish i was their age & get to play along with them...
i miss childhood.
*flashback*

well, that's all bout it really. i've got nothing much to crap. have to wake up early for tmr's wedding. -.- crap`

***

oh oh! i camwhored too. it's been awhile since i took pictures of myself.
but i'm having loads of pimples popping everywhere on my face. =/

cam*whoring in my cousin's room. got home from the buffet. totally bored.

daydreamer* wishing that things will go back how they were before.`

missing you.

must be those vibes. ;p

love this one. retards of the night. (:
*beams*

signed out*

p.s: pms-ing. period pains.

2007-10-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

phews`

she's back!

she can finally come home despite the fact of getting hospitalizing.
assuming that she'll get discharged next monday.

she came home. today!
yays! (:
it felt good to have her back.
things weren't the same without her bustling in the house.

i'm glad.
*beams*

***

i miss you.

xoxo.

2007-10-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

please let her be okay.

***

everything's a blur..
i don't like the sight of her on the hospital bed with needle and tubes...

god, hear my prayers*

this is the time when everything doesn't go my way.

signing out,
-wenn-

2007-10-22T18:11:00.000+08:00

butterflies on roses `

classes were boring today. no physics as the teacher's absent. still on her raya hols i supposed. lol. and it had been raining all morning. imagine that.

tsk. ahh well. i don't mind the rain, but why on monday morning! crappy-ness.

got back chemistry, history and math paper.
80 for chemistry.
66 for history.
flunked math. screw it!
sighs.

the day could get alot worse.

got home. grandma, brother and cousins were not at home.
and when they came home.
the first thing they tell me is that grandma is sick.

apparently, this morning, when she defaecated, there were blood.
and, she's making herself all worried that it might be cancer.
...
she's making me worry, and her hands are chilly.

*prayers*

hope that everything'd be okay...

signing off,
-wenn-

p.s: thanks for the ice creams, smuaxies.

2007-10-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

jelly baby for breakfast.

exams are over [ 2 weeks ago ]

raya holidays are finally over as well. [ 12 more hrs remaining ]

classes start tmr.
something tells me that all of these aren't real.

anyhoos. the 9 days of raya holidays were basically boring. [ 2 extra holidays were self-declared holiday, no frets ] not so overwhelming at all. been stuck at home all day long. no shopping, no nothing. you call this a holiday? i call this temporary prisoning. goodness.

i'm covered in dust all over! sheesh. i couldn't go out, there's no one to go out with. no transport and all those bla-bla-bla[s]. -.- what is wrong with the world?! anything else more entertaining?? talking bout entertaining, there's nothing good on tv even. even the dramas are getting boring. well, for me at least. sighhs. i miss shopping. i can't wait for november and december holidays. i shall have some decent shopping spree then. i need new outfits. new stuffs! i don't care, as long there's something new. i guess, that will replace all the complains i've been complaining.

it's already 7pm now. and i'm still rotting.

gotta go undust myself now. ciaoz.

signing out,

-wenn-

nonetheless, i miss him.

2007-09-23T11:43:00.000+08:00

exams' stresses.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

somtimes, i wonder...is this all i get?

signed out.`

2007-09-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

finals.

2 weeks!

-end of story-

signed out. *

2007-09-01T12:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Belated 50th Independence Day!

Selamat Hari Jadi, Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku.
(:

may the world be a better place, well, or more like may Malaysia always remain the way it is.

uh huh.
so much for turning 50.

:P

xoxo.